![]() ![]() And while there is no explicit genital harm done to the opponent, imagine how hard it will be for Super Dragon to recover from this attack. Just listening to the announcers try to justify this ridiculous move is an exercise in hilarity. Onto my personal favorite finishing move in pro wrestling…and it’s still just at #2… I also like that first clip where the one of the announcers scream “TOTALLY ILLEGAL!” Let’s hope she trimmed her nails beforehand. Bonus points for now porn star and professional train wreck Chyna for throwing Stevie Richards only by his johnson. Usually a wrestling fan would be happy to have a real woman anywhere near their crotch, but this devastating hold twists that whole idea around. ![]() ![]() This next move really GRABS your attention, if by ATTENTION you mean… Only two more entries until we see the amazement that is The Most Illegal Move in the History of Wrestling… “Wrestling a match, head butting some balls.” Also, I don’t think I understand why they preempt it by going “Wassssssup?” (HIGHLIGHT LINK for “wassup” <– ) Does injuring a man’s sack make them thirsty for Budweiser or something? I question why a person would want to drive their heads into the crotch of another man, but then again, people question why I watch it. This next crotch bomb involves a head butt, spread legs, and a nonsensical reference to a Budweiser commercial…Ī partner-assisted suicide head butt to the balls. My father shook his head slowly from side to side, closed his eyes, and prayed that when they opened, his son would stop watching wrestling. “Yeah dad! Check this guy out! His name is Balls Mahoney! He’s really tough, and every time he punches someone the crowd yells his name! Isn’t that cool?” We’re halfway to The Most Illegal Move in the History of Wrestling so I think we deserve a bathroom break (and an ice pack) So let me introduce my friend Balls Mahoney… But you know what makes this really hurt? That you’re being kicked in the nads by Goldust, the cross-dressing grandson of a plumber who loves to sexually intimidate his opponents by breathing heavily and rubbing his latex jumpsuit. This is a straight-up running kick to the berries. At least that’s what my friends said in grade school.īy contrast, this next move is blatant, time tested, and effective…at crushing balls… It also looks kind of stupid when you do it. Whoever invented this move is brilliant though because I’ve never seen anyone get disqualified for using this move. Honestly though? It’s a knee to the balls. This move is actually meant to hurt your opponent’s legs and tailbone, by ramming your knee up after the lift and jamming your opponent’s legs when they land. This next move is named after the terrifying weapon that ended WWII, and is possibly just as painful to live through… Still has nothing on The Most Illegal Move in the History of Wrestling… What these amateurs lack in pro wrestling skill they make up for in (probable) intoxication and love of fake pugilism…which of course turns into a groin tear for their overweight friend. I suppose I can’t go through a Top 10 about ball shots without including at least one clip of backyard wrestling. Wish I could’ve told these jokers to lay off their friend’s “bait n’ tackle” in this next clip… X-Pac is not really hurting his opponent’s balls as much as he’s risking his own to “embarrass them” I guess? Sorry Degeneration X I can’t tell you what to do. ![]() He also risks pulling his groin if his opponent rolls out in time. X-Pac tries really hard to make it cool to bounce up and down on a man’s chest with his balls in their face. Our next move should have been called “Flying Crotch to the Face” but it’s… Consider this our starting point, the absolute zero of dick kicks. The balls he’s hitting belong to “The World’s Largest Athelete” The Big Show, so you know those balls are huge. This is the original version of the ball shot executed over three times by the fourteen time world heavyweight champ and “Dirtiest Player in the Game” Ric Flair. BONUS: If you follow through all the entries there is a special prize at the end that won’t disappoint: The Most Illegal Move in the History of Wrestling! Click on and enjoy! So I’ll be saying the word “balls” a lot in this article. Here for your enjoyment I have compiled videos of the most genital harming moves in pro wrestling, and I think you’ll be shocked as to how many variations exist for this most important street fighting maneuver. But nothing can replace a good shot to the balls. ![]()
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